The Admonition:
Why the Whisper Matters

A Moment in the Mess Hall

It was a camp staff training weekend. During a break between sessions in the mess hall, I walked past a boy and girl alternately pushing each other in the arm. Back and forth. Smiles on their faces, not distress from assault. The girl called out to me to stop the guy from pushing her.

I gestured for them to draw close so I could talk to them over the din of conversation in the room. I asked for their ages. He was 15, she was 14.

I told them that what they were doing was an age-specific form of flirting.

They both looked dumbfounded for a few seconds. Suddenly, the girl went running off, screaming, to her gaggle of friends to discuss the matter.

Apparently, neither had understood the implications of their own behavior.

Why This Matters

This recollection illustrates something psychologists have documented extensively: physical touch and face-to-face verbal exchanges serve as signals of romantic interest, even when the participants don’t consciously recognize what they’re doing and nothing appears explicitly sexual.

In research published in the journal Psychiatry (1978), Dr. David B. Givens documented how, within courtship, there is … a crucial step where … non-verbal communication becomes important.” Touch that seems innocent — a hand on a shoulder, playful pushing — becomes charged with meaning in the wrong context.

Teenagers acting out this behavior often don’t recognize it themselves until someone names it. But it is no less real for them. Unconscious flirtatious behavior is common among older Scouts. They may genuinely not realize the implications.

The Admonition: Sacred, Not Secret

E. Urner Goodman was a Sunday school teacher. He was selected as a Scoutmaster by two Patrol Leaders who knew him in that role. He founded the Order of the Arrow. He became the first National Director of Program for the BSA. After leaving the BSA, he was active in the National Council of Churches. His entire life’s arc was faith.

At the center of the Order he created, Goodman placed a single teaching: the Admonition. A Lenape word that translates to “To love one another.”

This is not a casual phrase. The correct translation of the Admonition corresponds to the Greek word agape (ah-gop’-ay). This is the word used by St. Paul in the New Testament. It is normally translated in English Bibles simply as “love,” but Greek has separate words for romantic love (eros), friendship (philia), familial love (storge), and universal love for all humanity (agape). The Admonition means agape — and only agape.

The New Testament declares two Great Commandments: Love God and Love your neighbor. Goodman, a man whose life was devoted to teaching God’s word to young people, placed the second Great Commandment at the heart of the Order of the Arrow.

He understood it is sacred in the fullest sense. Not merely important. Sacred.

It was, and is, understood by practically everyone that the reason why it was whispered was that it was super-secret, the ultimate proof of OA membership. That belief, while nearly universal, misses the deeper reasons.

Truth be told, I have never, in my years of OA membership, seen anyone who claimed to be an OA member turned away from any ceremonial ring, Pre-Ordeal, Ordeal, Brotherhood, or Vigil. And none of the passwords (or equivalent) other than the Admonition are ever whispered. So logically, there must be other reasons why the Founders decided that this one word, and none other, had to be whispered privately.

Yes, whispering gives it additional gravity. Implies its centrality and importance.

But there is a second reason, rooted in language itself.

The Giggle Principle

English has only a single word for “love.” By contrast, Greek has at least four words. Everything from romantic attraction to the bonds of marriage to the relationship between family members to pure brotherly love for mankind. They have separate words in Greek.

The Lenape word that is the Admonition carries the precise meaning of agape. Like the Greek, it is specific. It cannot be confused with romantic love because it is a different word entirely. An unfamiliar word received in a whisper carries mystery and gravity. Its meaning unfolds through experience, not through immediate comprehension. The teaching is hidden inside the mystery.

But the word “love” in English carries every meaning at once. Romantic attraction. Friendship. Family. God’s love. The listener’s mind defaults to the most exciting definition — romantic attraction. This is not a moral failure. It is how language works.

Speaking “To love one another” aloud to a group of teens would inevitably produce giggles. Not because they are irreverent, but because the English word “love” isn’t unambiguously agape.

Our Founders understood this and protected against the giggle factor by requiring it to be whispered. The solemnity of the moment protects it from mockery. The whisper wasn’t arbitrary. It was essential.

The Lenape language wasn’t decoration. It was the vessel that held the precise meaning. The recent proposal removed it to avoid cultural appropriation. In doing so, they destroyed the precision that made the teaching work. They removed the word that said exactly what they meant and replaced it with a word (“love”) that says what they don’t mean.

What National Proposes

The 2014 Brotherhood ceremony maintained the whispered delivery of the Admonition, with all present whispering it together simultaneously. This preserved the protection against the giggle factor while creating a moment of unified purpose.

The current proposal abandons the whisper entirely.

In the ceremony: One member approaches another, face to face. One places a hand over the arrowhead on their sash and speaks the words “To love one another.” The other responds in kind, hand over arrowhead, “To love one another.” They then exchange the OA handclasp.

But the proposal goes further. The ceremony establishes this as a generalized greeting: “to know and greet one another with the Admonition is to be welcomed without reservation.”

This means the face-to-face exchange of “to love one another” followed by physical contact is not limited to the ceremony. It becomes the standard greeting between OA members. At any time. In any setting. Between any members. Including adult males and female youth.

The Desecration

A Sunday school teacher placed the second Great Commandment — agape, love for all humanity — at the sacred center of the Order. He protected it with a whisper. He delivered it in a language that could carry its precise meaning without ambiguity. He made it one-directional — received from the Order, not exchanged between peers. He embedded it in ceremony, in darkness, by firelight.

For 109 years, this was honored.

The proposal takes this sacred teaching and:

• Removes the Lenape word that carried the precise meaning of agape
• Translates it into a language where “love” defaults to its romantic meaning
• Eliminates the whisper that protected it from mockery
• Changes it from a one-directional transmission to a mutual exchange between peers
• Makes it a casual greeting used outside of ceremony
• Strips it of the ceremonial context that gave it gravity

This is not modernization. This is desecration. The second Great Commandment, placed at the center of the Order by a man of God, reduced to a greeting that teenagers will giggle at, or worse.

“A Scout is Reverent. He is reverent toward God. He is faithful in his religious duties and respects the convictions of others in matters of custom and religion.” — The Scout Law, original wording

The Practical Problems

Even setting aside the sacred dimension, the proposal creates situations that violate the BSA’s own Barriers to Abuse standards.

Consider what happens when an adult male OA member approaches a female youth OA member and:

Stands face to face with her. Looks her in the eyes Says “To love one another.” Expects her to respond “To love one another.” Clasps her hand. At any time, anywhere. Not just during ceremonies.

“I was just greeting her as a fellow Arrowman” becomes institutional cover for boundary violations.

Between youth members, the problems are different but equally serious. A 14-year-old girl and a 16-year-old boy, face to face, exchanging “to love one another” followed by a handclasp — this is a courtship sequence as documented in psychology research. The participants may not recognize it. That does not make it less real for them.

If doing this publicly creates embarrassment and giggling (which it will), participants will naturally move away from the group to do it privately. Now you have mixed-gender youth pairing off alone To perform what looks and feels like a romantic ritual. With ceremony-sanctioned permission to do so.

This is exactly what the Barriers to Abuse training is designed to prevent.

What Should Happen

This proposal should be rejected entirely. The Admonition should remain exactly as it has been for 109 years:

The Lenape word, which is the Admonition, followed by its translation “To love one another”. Whispered only one-directionally. Received, not exchanged. During a formal ceremony with proper framing. Never used as a casual greeting.

It works. Leave it alone.

I was reluctant to write this page. Over-explaining our lived experiences removes their mystery. But better to pull back the curtain than watch the Admonition be destroyed.

For more information on the proposed ceremony changes, see What Is Known About the New OA Ceremony.

For context on the broader ideological shift in Scouting, see Ideology Behind Ceremony Changes.